This is sort of not even remotely relevant to my study abroad experience. Also, this has potential to become a book if I ever compile enough stories of the hilarity that is my mother. Nonetheless, I have learned some pretty important things from my mom.
The Philosophy of My Mother, in relevance to my life
1. Hydration = happiness, success, good fortune, and a prosperous future.
If ever a problem plagues you, it is probably because you are not hydrated. Drinking water solves everything. That, and you should probably brush your teeth. Try these two before taking any other form of action.
2. I am probably smarter than almost everyone else.
This one sounds kind of cocky and irrational, but nevertheless was implicit in my mother's parenting style. While rarely stated outright, this sentiment was always the foundation of my mother's quest to build up my self-esteem as a young girl. I think it kind of worked, and I know exactly the kind of mirthful laughter that will emit from my mom if she reads this, and also that it might preen her feathers a bit.
3. Even if all else fails, at least I have good hair.
This is brought up (still) at every occasion in which I am feeling slightly insecure. I used to kind of resent when she said this, instead wanting to be blond or something, but, heck! Come hell, high water, or prettier girls, at least I have some damn good hair.
(Side note: apparently one day in middle school I came home crying because someone told me I wasn't "one of the pretty girls". I do not recall this -repression?- but, the way my mom retells it, she just said "if you aren't one of the pretty girls, then who is?" incredulously, and that was that. Again, like #2, this sort of resolved disbelief in anything other than the fact that I am terrific has somehow been an effective tool in my upbringing)
4. "That baby needs a hat", or "why can't anyone put a hat on that baby?"
Okay so this isn't really a lesson, but if there is a small child in the ten mile radius of my mom in colder weather that is hat-less, my mom seriously considers alerting the authorities. She would probably argue that this is in fact an actual lesson that she wants to impart on every young adult, not just those in the vicinity of her when she sees (gasp!) a baby without a hat.
5. Driving the speed limit (let alone over it) is too risky a chance for anyone to take.
"No one ever died because they drove 45mph". This is one of my favorites, although slightly misinformed seeing as it is safer generally to just keep up with traffic (within reasonable speed). It exemplifies my mom's somewhat irrational yet genuine life lessons, which happen to be my favorite kind. My friends Emily and Rachel would undoubtedly agree that this lesson has been (perhaps unfortunately) deeply ingrained in me.
(Another side note: my mother is notoriously impervious to sarcasm, and will always find a way around to to make you look/feel like an idiot. If ever, during a lovely 35mph mosey down the freeway, she is prompted with the overwhelmingly sarcastic question "could you GO any slower?", she, without skipping a beat, will respond calmly, "why yes, I can", and reduce her speed.)
6. "Wait for it to go on sale".
In my mom's world, something you want to buy will eventually always go on sale, and you better believe she'll be there at that precise moment.
7. "When I was growing up, we weren't allowed to fight with each other".
This one was used when I would get angry with my brothers growing up. This little gem is almost, again, not a lesson, but it's too good to pass up because on one hand; it's completely irrational. My mom grew up in a house with 6 kids, and there is almost no chance that the children never argued because they "weren't allowed to". On the other hand, if you've ever met my mother and her siblings, you really wouldn't doubt it for a second.
8. There is no such thing as being too prepared.
This is employed mostly in relation to how many meatballs one should make before having company. (How could I make a post about my mom without mentioning meatballs??)
There are so, so, so, many more.
No comments:
Post a Comment